My Best Come-Hither Stare

If James is the cyber pimp of TLA Video, then you can think of me as a freelance prostitute who goes way back with him and won't join his stable, but maintains a friendly relationship, and we pass each other clients from time to time. In fact the metaphor works almost disturbingly well as a stereotype; I'm over-educated, bored, a bad fit for the workaday grind, and like to spend my time as I please, thank you very much. So here I am, ready willing and able to serve as the loose cannon of the TLA blog, unbeholden as I am to its corporate masters.

Which isn't to say that I'm here to stir up shit unnecessarily; even the most classless call girl knows better than to bite the hand that feeds. But as an outsider, my plan is to indulge you in the reviews of the movies that I enjoy, which may or may not tie into the larger revenue goals of TLA. Hey, they've got nine hard-typing worker bees in the column on the right, there - they can afford one dilettante with an agenda of their own.

What kind of movies are those? Well sure, we all loved the Dark Knight, but I tend to find myself wandering into the more oddball nooks and crannies. 70s exploitation classics, beaten-path-adjacent indies, the kinds of movies that no one likes to admit to seeing and even less like to admit to enjoying. Movies that we watch for hedonism rather than to appear cool. Some are stupid raunch and some will blow your mind. Many feature explosions.

–Tovarich

And before you ask: Yes, my name really is Tovarich. Yes, like really really. Yes, I know it's a word in Russian. Yes, I know what it means. No, I don't speak Russian. Yes, there is a story behind it. No, I won't tell you.